What Sickness Can take out of you and what it can Add

The Last three days have been a haze...I haven't had a cold like this in a while. I would say that Today is the first time I've had enough energy to do anything beyond a few emails and a comment or two on Facebook...but not much more. Being sick for me is generally a very lonely time. I tend to take on attributes of being depressed when I'm this out of it. I haven't had the strength to put in a decent quiet time in 2 days. I feel like I'm out of the loop of life and I've had to cancel on a lot of people. Phew! Did I mention that I've been blowing my nose and coughing up my lung all the while? :) I say all this because it has worn on me spiritually. This blah feeling makes it difficult to feel excitement for the word, it makes is hard to want to spend time in extended prayer no less. It was actually really scary to wake up yesterday and choose to keep rolling over to block out the world and all the decisions I have to make. I was feeling let down by my own switch in mood. The "High" of the NA Conference was definitely worn off yesterday. What did my circumstance require? My first impulse was to thank the Lord for not abandoning me, for not thinking less of me and for not loving me any less for my futile attempt to stay engaged with him. I just asked him to protect me from the enemies ploys in trying to talk trash! I know he was trying to! Today was a better day. I was able to put in some tunes from the Lu CD "Look Upon" from N.A. the worship songs helped to get my heart attuned to what I need most...which is Christ! "Hallelujah, All I need is Christ...Hallelujah...Jesus is my life." That was a befitting encouragement and exhortation! If the Lord is good even when I'm laid out...if his sovereignty and his grace for me comes no thanks to any feelings I am having or not...than GOOD has come out of this time. I praise God for his faithfulness and I bow my head in reverence for his capacity to love unabashedly and whenever I'm tempted to think otherwise...I'll remember the Cross on Calvary, where my Precious Savior Hung.