The Cost of Beauty

In our current culture, women are bombarded daily with expectations of a standard of beauty that eludes most of us. Thumbing through a magazine inevitably brings you face to face with a shot of a woman who by the power of photo shop, makes most feel as though they don't measure up. We turn on the television or put in a movie and that same standard inevitably rears it's ugly head. Even the most innocuous of circumstances can bring about a heightened self awareness or insecurities with the presence of a beautiful woman. I could go on about how all media forms defer instantaneously to beautiful women to sell their products and services, but that would be stating the unmistakeably obvious. What I want to focus on is the preoccupation of striving to beget this kind of beauty and the toll it takes on women as a whole. Why are women so driven to prioritize maximizing their appearances, yet overlook other more lasting aspects of who they are in relationship to others? Answer: because our cultural stream dictates the flow and we follow aimlessly in pursuit of it, even if it means going over a waterfall while plummeting to our deaths. The commercials we watch, the ads we see, reinforce this notion that if we are physically without flaw, we are instantly better daughters, mothers, wives, girlfriends, even friends! So inevitably we are led to perceive that the world could be our oyster so to speak, if we would simply look stunning! That's just it, it isn't easy! It almost always costs something even for the ones who are classified as beautiful! They fall prey to the snares of jealousy, gossip, eating disorders, unfulfilled relationships, pressure to stay that way or enhance with plastic surgery, lack of sexual boundaries...as if they somehow forgo their virtue for the sake of displaying the worldly fortitude that is expected to come with said beauty! Beyond even the preoccupation with physical beauty, lies an even more disturbing cachet, competition! Get multiple women into a room and they start to size each other up. Women begin to spin from all the tabs they must keep; "Is she prettier than me?", "Is she skinnier than me?", "Is her outfit better than mine?", "Will the guys be checking her out more than me?", "Am I good enough?", "Who will love me?"...this may seem like the worst case scenario, but as much as it grieves me to say it, we aren't talking about the pejorative! Quite the contrary. Ladies...you know what I'm talking about when I say that the tension in the line of a woman's bathroom (particularly in the setting of a bar, club or event)could be cut with a hack saw! The aforementioned qualitative questions are especially prominent in this setting. Insecurity and jealousy in this regards can eventually tear apart any friendship between women! HOW INCREDIBLY SAD IS THAT???? Under these circumstances, friendships are dubious at best when plagued by the worst of this epidemic! Oh how I wish that women would see just how harmful this competition is to the very core of their being! I learned a long time ago to affirm the beauty of women in this setting. It's interesting how a genuine compliment can diffuse most of this! Take for instance my trip to the Ladies room last night in uptown at Bar Abiline. I was in line behind a woman who kept staring at my sister and I (doing what I said that most do!) Once we had established our relationship as sisters through our banter and our ease with one another...you could see her glances dissipate from critical, to familiarity. At one point I did a voice that I only really subject my family to and the woman in front of us actually smiled! I took that opportunity to tell her that I thought she looked beautiful and that her shirt was very cute! I affirmed her and instantly she started talking to me as if I were her best friend! Over the course of the next few minutes, I got the inside scoop, a short glimpse of who she was. There was no sizing up, just a mutual appreciation for all that is woman!

Imagine the power women have to lift one another up through this act of acknowledging and appreciating beauty in one another! It instantly connects us, it orientates us to who we are and NOT what we look like. There is healing to be found in genuinely expressing an appreciation for another woman's worth in the eyes of the Lord! We are made in his image. We have been entrusted the helper roles of life, the nourishing roles of life. Yet somehow, the world has turned us against one another so that instead of living up to the vital role that was meant for us, we are exploited and are in some ways victims of curtailed usury. I implore you ladies to find ways to remember that the primary focus of your beauty comes from the formative power of Jesus. Your extension of beauty flows from the love that comes first from being loved by your Savior and the fruits born out of the motivation to serve and love others as a result! Am I saying ditch your makeup, your clothes, your gym memberships, the wonderfully girly and smelly lotions and shower gels we go nuts for...no! In and of themselves they are fine, but you may want to reevaluate where they fall on your list of priorities. There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to take care of yourself and put a good face forward. I am not even saying that there is anything wrong with modeling. I'm just saying, it's all about intent. I am challenging you to consider that it does get more costly if you start to obsess over these things before your duty to the Lord. I freely confess that it is almost a daily battle to not give in to the worldly pressures to look beautiful. I'm not saying I do it well a lot, but I do know that this is something I continually bring before the Lord in submission OFTEN! So ladies, next time you are in a situation where you recognize the scenario I pointed out, find ways to compliment and affirm the women around you. It can be an incredible witness to the standard to which we are called as believing women! If you see your friend do something to demonstrate her love and service to you, thank her! Tell her how much you value her and love her! Ladies, know that when we are walking in service and obedience to Jesus, we are DELIGHTED IN...more than any jewels could garner, we are delighted in!